Most people who have been divorced would answer this question with a resounding “NO!” In fact, former spouses remarry every day, and many of these remarriages are successful. The issues that led to a divorce may have been resolved, or after years have passed, the two discover they still have the mutual attraction and understanding that led them to fall in love and marry. The key to making a remarriage successful lies in communication. Almost all divorces are related to communication failures. Are you considering remarrying a former spouse? Here are some tips that could help you make the second time around a success.
Resolve The Issues Before You Commit
Your marriage failed due to certain issues. These must be resolved, as if they caused a failure in the past, you can predict that the future will bring the same outcome. These issues must be discussed fully. Remember – a lonely former partner may also be prone to making promises that he or she can’t keep as the years roll on. Take all the time you need to sort out these problems. The initial flush of rekindling your relationship is exciting, but let time pass before you make a commitment.
Does Time Heal All Wounds?
The passage of time allows you to feel more forgiving for issues that once drove you up a wall. Loneliness can set in, and your former spouse can seem to be an attractive option. If there has been any cheating, it can be difficult to trust that it won’t happen again. Statistically, cheaters tend to cheat, but there are exceptions to the rule. Be careful. If you cheated on your spouse and he or she wants you back, remember that trust is the main issue you must resolve for a successful future.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
You need to communicate with your former spouse – a lot. You need to engage in genuine communication. Don’t try to impress, be yourself. Be a good listener. If your marriage will work the second time around, it must be based upon honest communication. Don’t use alcohol as a crutch. This is the time for honest, open communication, and will establish better communication as a foundation in your restored relationship.
If you have decided to remarry, you must be able to forgive. The past is the past, and you have to let it go if you are going to make the marriage a success. Learn to forgive. Focus on the future, and building a marriage that is based on honesty, trust and mutual respect.
If you are considering get back together with your former spouse, these are some guidelines that could help you make your marriage a success. The love you once had can be restored and enhanced if you proceed carefully and thoughtfully, without being driven strictly by emotion.