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Divorce involves an overwhelming variety of emotions. On hand, you and your partner will feel regret, devastation, failure, exhaustion, and even shame at the thought of ending your formerly lifelong project. On the other hand, you’ll feel relief, joy, and excitement at the thought of putting an end to your troubles.
In such tumultuous times, things can go bad quickly. You, your partner, your friends and families, and your legal team will have countless views on countless things. The big picture can get jumbled. You may forget what you even want. Keep these things in mind to ease tension and make things smoother for everyone.
Plan Ahead and Write Things Down
Don’t wait to craft your stories, arguments, and thoughts until you’re stuck in a tense situation. When you’re stressed, you don’t think straight. This process will affect you for a long time, even the rest of your life. Don’t wing it. Take time to articulate your feelings. Write them down and come up with a plan. Look over your thoughts. Think about them. Edit ideas, and make sure you say what you truly mean during your proceedings. This will make things easier for everyone. Especially for you.
Keep Unnecessary People Out
This is your life, and your divorce. Don’t let a friend with an axe to grind or a stubborn affection for your ex influence your decisions. The same goes for family. Yes, you need support, but don’t let other people push you into a direction you’re uncomfortable with. You might feel your ex is an honest, decent person with whom you simply can’t live; if so, stand your ground and offer her a kind, respectful deal. On the other hand, don’t let a mutual friend talk you into going easy on an abusive former partner.
If Possible, Work With Your Ex
The two of you have most likely known each other well for a long time. Splitting up doesn’t necessarily mean you now need to become lifelong mutual nemeses. If you get your deal right the first time, it could save you a lifetime of fighting. You split up for a reason. Don’t prolong things. If your divorce proceedings leave one or both of you bitter, you’ll only be stretching things out. Even if you have no interest in getting along with your ex, making common cause will help you in the long run— imagine fighting with this person for twenty more years! Get along, find common ground, and bury your issues.
Take Time to Assemble Your Team
Again, your divorce proceedings will likely leave lasting marks on your life. Get a good mediator. Shop around. Discuss options with and friends or family members who’ve been through this process. Yes, you’re exhausted, but you need to careful and thoughtful; long-term effects of a bad divorce can be brutal, especially if you’ve got kids. Divorce is a delicate process, and you need to handle it with patience and respect. You don’t want any old lawyer to step in and mess all these lives. Search out patient, compassionate, ethical law practitioners.