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Divorce can be harsh. It signifies a different phase in your life, and that change is not always easy. At a time when emotions are fraught and there is quite a lot of anger and bitterness, people often make mistakes that could cost them significantly down the line. These mistakes can range from the places you go to for advice, to the way the kids are handled during the process. It is not easy to be ‘smart’ about something so emotional and personal, but if you know what to look out for it might save you from more unnecessary strife.
Getting The Right Legal Advice
One mistake many people make is listening to everyone that has an opinion, and receiving advice about how to best handle their divorce. Once divorce is on the cards, you should get legal advice. There are many people who will only be too ready to give you advice on how to proceed with your divorce. They mean well, but what you really need at that point is a good lawyer. Getting expert advice about everything from alimony to custody is the smart thing to do, and could save you some stress down the road. There is nothing wrong with getting a second opinion, but make sure you go to the right quarters for that as well.
Your Kids Are Switzerland
A lot of people drag their children right in the middle their messy divorces, forcing them to pick sides with one parent. Such kids are usually torn apart, not knowing which parent to support. Don’t do that to your children. You might be getting divorced, but your kids are not. One mistake that is easy to make is badmouthing your ex-partner in front of your kids, or making negative comments about your ex-spouse. Making your children choose sides is cruel and hurtful to them. Always remember that in the battle between you and your ex, your kids are Switzerland – neutral territory. This makes the adjustment period smoother for them, so that the divorce is not a totally devastating experience for them.
Plan For Your Future
It is hard to think about planning for your future when you are beginning the process of a divorce. That is probably the last thing you feel like doing and yet, it is one of the most important things you can do. Financial planning is often the toughest part, particularly when you are stuck with the daily financial demands of a costly divorce. Regardless, don’t ignore this aspect or leave it to fix itself. Know what your assets are, whether to keep the house or sell it, and plan for how you are going to live your life after the divorce. Putting things down can help you gain clarity and aid the planning process.
Whatever you do, avoid letting your emotions rule. This is not easy to do as divorce can be a very emotional experience, but it is critical to keep your emotions from spilling over. It is in your best interest to ensure that you do not make crucial decisions from an emotional place. Practicing emotionally intelligence will help things move along smoothly and calmly.